She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
