Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
