I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
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