I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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