how can u be prego again
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
