fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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