all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
