bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
