Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
