Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
