I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
