You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
