Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
