i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
