in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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