Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
