The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you will always have a special place in my vag
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
