Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
