I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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