No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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