Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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