I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
