But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
