the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
