last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
