We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
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