You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
