Where did you get a picture of my penis
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
