fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
