this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
