I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
