i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
