Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
it was like eating out sand paper
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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