Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
only if we run a train.
done.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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