hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
