I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
