that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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