do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
