I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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