is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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