There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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