Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize