wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
