At least make sure they are 18
Why
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
