yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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