We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
