Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
