Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
