I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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