this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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