if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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